How to Deal with Difficult People.
A Spiritual Perspective.
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You and I came to this world to learn life’s lessons.
These life lessons are not easy, because we learn more when times are tough than when times are easy. The most effective teacher of all is our relationships.
God placed us with other Souls, each of whom is here to learn his own lessons. We each have egos that hurt and can be hurt, conflicting desires and pains. We each have different perspectives, we want others to believe as we do, and some people are in positions of power, while others believe themselves to be victims. It’s a recipe for a tremendous amount of friction, or in other words, a perfect schoolyard for Soul to purify itself, grow and learn to help others.
Relationships can be very tricky. Often, we have particular people in our lives who are especially difficult. Maybe you’re dealing with someone who is heartless and cruel; who seems to enjoy the power they wield and the pain they can cause. Or perhaps you are dealing with someone who is dishonest and will lie, steal and deceive.
The pat answer is to simply avoid them and dissolve all connections with them. And if that’s possible, it may be the best path to take. But that’s not always possible. Sometimes you have a business relationship with them, or maybe they are even part of your family.
So what is the best way to deal with these people?
FIRST, SEE THE GOD IN THEM.
I can point to the exact moment that I was permanently cured of road rage. One day I was behind a slow and erratic car. I was late and frustrated and I was having none of it. The first chance I got to pass the car I zoomed up and looked at the driver with daggers in my stare. Then, for a brief instant, the driver looked like my father. I felt love for the man, as his son would love him. My anger melted immediately as I realized that everyone driving a car is loved by someone, and especially by God. From that day forward, I never get angry with other drivers. What changed in me? I saw the God in that person. I saw the divinity in him, and my heart opened like the Grinch on Christmas Day.
SECOND,STRIVE FOR HARMONY.
In every situation, try to find harmony. This doesn’t mean that you should always give in or allow someone to infringe upon you. Be strong. Find peace in your heart and from this place of peace, work towards harmony in the relationship. Allow yourself be humbled, if your ego is overblown like a pufferfish. Be flexible in your righteousness. Maybe you need to step back and look for another solution to the problem. Peace always starts in your own heart.
THIRD, UNWIND YOURSELF.
If you can physically separate yourself from the person and the situation, that’s great. If not, unwind yourself emotionally. Take the high road and don’t make the situation worse. Diffuse the situation when possible. Stop being pissed off. Be neutral. Be graceful. Don’t react and don’t poke a stick in a snake’s eye. You have ultimate freedom to decide your state of consciousness.
FOURTH, ASK GOD FOR HELP.
Do what you can to fix a problem, and then turn it over to God. Ask God to take care of the issue and ask God to help you keep peace in your heart.
FIFTH, GRANT THE PERSON FREEDOM.
Everyone is here to learn what they need to learn. Sometimes people are sad and sometimes angry (and sometimes sad people appear to be angry). Let the person be, while demanding (in a graceful way) your own freedom. It’s not important that everyone believes what we believe.
SIXTH, CAN YOU HELP?
This may sound ridiculous, but perhaps God placed you in the specific situation because you are the best person to help him or her. Is there a way you can make his life better or easier? Explore this.
Do you have any words of wisdom you can add to this? Please comment below.
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