š Discipline + Detachment = Freedom.
I'm stepping away from politics and social issues today...
Hi from Glenn!
As you know, Liberty Zeppelinās main theme is liberty and freedom. Usually this refers to political freedom, but today I want to talk about mental and emotional freedom. Specifically, I want to talk about this formula: discipline + detachment = freedom.
Iāll explain what I mean with two stories.
The first one involves a dog named Angie. She belongs to a friend, but Iāve been walking her recently because, although sheās a sweet girl, sheās out of control. When you take her for a walk, she is constantly agitated and high-strung. When she sees other dogs, she loses it: She barks wildly, pulls hard, and generally wreaks havoc. Not only is it embarrassing, but my wife (the ultimate dog lover) refuses to walk Angie alone because sheās not strong enough to restrain her.
Angieās lack of discipline resulted in her lack of freedom and lack of enjoyment in life. She wasnāt able to experience the outdoors as much because her owners didnāt enjoy taking her for walks. She couldnāt enjoy the company of other dogs or the love that she would get from my wife were she able to control the hyperactive pup. Not only was Angieās life worse for her lack of discipline, but sheād become an emotional and physical burden to those around her.
Compare this scenario with a well-trained, well-behaved dog who is a pleasure to be around; a dog who does not get agitated and stays calm; a dog who does not pull or lose control. Such a dog would be walked more, would be invited to join her owner on car rides and on trips to the park and to other peopleās homes. A highly disciplined dog might even be able to walk without a leash and run off-leash in the park. Indeed, disciplined dogs are happier dogs, and they make those around them happier.
Iāll update you on Angie after I tell you the second story.
When my son was ten or eleven, I took him to see Iron Man. While we were sitting in the theater waiting for the movie to start, I decided to impart a life lesson. I told him that at some point during the movie I would tap him on his knee and when I did so I wanted him to āpopā out of the movieāto look around at his surroundings and the other theatergoers and notice how they were totally entranced by the movie. Once he did this, he was free to āpopā back into the movie and lose himself in the moment again.
My goal was to teach him how to detach from the momentāin this case, how to snap out of the trance-like emotions evoked by the drama of the movie. When you develop the ability to detach in this way, I told him, you can see the world objectively. You can see through the deceptions and the propaganda that are designed to trap you. Consequently, you gain power over your emotional response to whatever is being presented to you.
Over the years, my son became very skilled at this talent. Once, when he was quite young, he was very frustrated with a violin lesson. First, I told him to feel what he needed to feel. What I meant was that he neednāt ignore his emotions in the effort to control them. Then, when he was done feeling frustrated, he should snap out of that state. As soon as I said this, he immediately stopped his outburst. I was actually amazed at how fast he was able to rein in his emotions.
So, what can we learn from both these stories?
I see the tale of out-of-control Angie as a perfect metaphor for an out-of-control human mind. Weāve all known people who are emotional train wrecks, havenāt we? They overreact to everything that happens to them. They have huge highs and deep lows. They often fly off the handle or are agitated and nervous. Not only are they miserable, but they cause considerable collateral damage to anyone and everyone around them.
Now for the update. This past week I have been patiently training Angie. I realized that the first thing I had to do during our walks was to eliminate her agitation. To achieve this, I had to have her find her placeāthat is, slightly behind me on my left. I needed her to pay attention to me and follow my lead.
So, as we walk, I change directions at random times. Iāll quickly turn to the right or to the left or do a 180. She is learning that she needs to be ready to instantly respond to my lead at all times, no matter how haphazard my direction and abrupt my turns.
I offer her constant feedback, so she knows whether she is responding properly or not. When she does it right, I praise her and give her a treat. When she loses control, I donāt scold her. I simply distract her, change direction on a dime, and help her regain her focus on keeping her place at my side.
After Angie got acclimated to this method of walking, we began approaching other dogs instead of avoiding them. I knew we needed such challenging situations so we could address her issues head-on.
Similarly, this kind of training is how I can gain control of my own mind and emotions. But discipline is more than just willpowerāmore than just willing yourself to act a certain way. Instead, the key to discipline is detachment. By detaching from the drama of the moment, as I taught my son to do at the movies (and in other situations after that), Iām able to think objectively. Just as I have had to remind Angie of her proper place, remembering to detach allows me to put my mind in its place. Iām the one in control; my emotions arenāt.
In the same way, I do not allow others to control me through propaganda. I want to be able to observe what influences are affecting me. I value being able to determine what I am identifying with at any moment. I need to be able to instantly change my perspective. This āsnapping out of itā is the single most important skill that any of us can have in order to control our emotions.
Just as a well-trained dog feels more secure and is thus happier, the same is true of a disciplined mind. A disciplined mind is at peace; it can handle whatever it encounters with grace; it is not easily fooled by propaganda. When we have a disciplined mind, we are able to endure trials and help others endure them. We are able to experience joy and love. Our lives improve.
My training with Angie is a work in progress. Iāve had only a couple weeks with her, but already she is much calmer. She is now a pleasure to walk. Even my wife is able to take Angie for walks without fear of injuring her back.
The final thought I want to leave you with is this: Most people think discipline restricts their freedom. On the contrary, discipline is necessary for mental and emotional peace and freedom and joy!
Glenn Meder
P.S. This article is from the April issue of the Liberty Zeppelin. Please download the full issue hereā¦
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Very insightful. I was reminded of someone I know who lacks emotional control and makes it very difficult to be around sometimes because I don't know what's going on in her mind.
Great insight! Being able to detach, access, and respond give you choice, which is the ultimate freedom. Bravo! š